


How I Got These Scars

by Sparisoma



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Mild Gore, Minor Injuries, Shipping If You Squint
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2019-10-24 19:40:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17710361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sparisoma/pseuds/Sparisoma
Summary: Smart people doing slightly stupid things and walking away with strange stories.A series of misadventures of the Mighty Nein.(Including but not limited to: how not to climb, how not to chop apples, how not to walk down stairs, and how not to handle food and drink.)





	1. Why Beau Will Never Be A Surgeon

**Author's Note:**

> Steady hands, strong resolve, still not going to enter the medical field.

Beau looked up to find everyone staring back at her. The sight of ruby red blood, the nails-on-chalkboard sound, and the rocking of the boat hadn’t helped her churning stomach. But it was over. The ordeal was over.

“Look at that,” Caduceus said with a reassuring voice, “you did great.”

Beau shook her head.

“I’m _never_ going to be a surgeon.”

 

**Half an hour earlier…**

 

Beau kicked something; somebody’s face. What followed was the sound of frustrated sputtering and a spindly hand grabbing her ankle. She turned to find Caleb treading water behind her looking thoroughly peeved.

“This is not a competition,” Caleb huffed, “you kicked me in the face _again_.

“Sorry,” Beau said spitting a mouthful of saltwater with her apology that could probably be more sincere. But the water was cold and the two humans were falling behind their non-human companions.

“There are four of us, we swim in a box and it makes for a good formation so stop cutting in front of me,” Caleb gestured to Fjord and Yasha who had stopped to tread water after hearing the accented ‘ _oof’_ of their Zemnian friend.

Beau rolled her eyes and winced as the salt water seeped past her goggles.

“I’m not cutting in front of you, I’m just a faster swimmer,” Beau counters wishing Caleb would give her a break. If he’d left his large coat on the boat he would be able to match her pace and they wouldn’t be left in the dust by the others.

“You two good?” Fjord asks relaxing in the pale waters of the bay they were swimming through to get to a platform.

Caduceus had spotted the small, wooden platform built in a strange spot along the dark cliffs possibly marking the entrance to a hidden cave; a smuggler’s hold full of Something Unordinary. And with the group looking specifically for Something Unordinary rumored to be hidden in that exact spot, they were definitely going to check it out.

Nott, who still hated water, opted to “protect” the small vessel they had borrowed to explore the bay.

(They had actually borrowed a boat this time, had asked nicely and paid a small price for it. The Mighty Nein were learning.)

Caduceus and Jester stayed behind to make the boat appear occupied and inconspicuous while it bobbed in the blue water. With luck, nobody would notice that half of the crew had slipped away to poke around the bay.

But now that the other four had stopped swimming and were treading water arguing about _formation_ , they risked being spotted despite the advantage of the dim morning light.

“Don’t kick me again,” Caleb said ducking back under the water in a huff of bubbles.

“Don’t fall behind,” Beau retorted slightly pleased with the fact that she was the faster human in the water. 

She missed the look Yasha and Fjord shared before continuing to lead the way towards the platform.  

Then came the tricky part: the platform jutted out from the rocks leaving no footholds. Climbing on top would require significant upper body strength.

So naturally Yasha looked like a dark ocean goddess pulling herself out of the bay with the grace and power of the tides. Beau may or may not have inhaled a small amount of salt water while she waited her turn to climb up.

Fjord went next, accepting Yasha’s hand to help pull himself out of the water. Being in his element and years of experience made him move with ease. Jester would have probably made some mushy comment if she’d seen it. _Oh Oskar, you are so handsome and graceful._

Then came Beau’s turn. (Because of the two humans, she _was_ the faster swimmer and therefore arrived ahead of Caleb.)

Beau was a badass monk. She climbed rooftops and trees with ease. She was fast and dexterous and definitely had plenty of upper body strength to pull herself out of the water. She didn’t need help; she wasn’t going to accept outstretched hands. This was the time to be impressive, to wow her friends with her skills.

_Grab the sides and pull yourself up, just like a pullup, done a million of those, be fast, be graceful be-_

Beau’s inner monologue was cut off the moment her strength failed her and she lost her grip on the platform.

\- _FUCK!_

Beau flopped backwards into the water with a splash. Her left foot kicked out on instinct in a failed attempt to catch herself and hit the underside of the platform. Coral, seaweed, barnacles, and other nefarious ocean growth were crushed under her bare heel. She regretted leaving her boots behind when her foot began to sting.For the second time that day Beau spewed salt water.

“Saw that coming,” Caleb, who was treading water several feet away, mumbled.

“Beau!” Fjord cried concerned. He and Yasha immediately each stretched out a hand. Beau swallowed her pride and accepted both hands to help pull her out of the water. Her grand exit from the bay and towards adventure could have definitely gone better.

“Are you alright?” Yasha asked as she helped Caleb up out of the water.

“Fine,” Beau waved her hand.

“You’ve got a bit of rust smeared on your heel,” Fjord pointed to Beau’s left heel, the same one that had hit the underside of the platform. Sure enough, there was a reddish-brown smear along the side.

“Oh, yeah, that’s nothing,” Beau reached down and rubbed the rust away.

More appeared in its place, mixing with the water and pooling next to her foot.

Fjord crouched down to look more closely, “that’s not rust.”

_Blood._

Brilliant, on top of flopping into the water with a grand display of clumsiness, she had cut her foot.

“Beau you’re bleeding,” Yasha said leaning over, “you’re bleeding a lot.”

“It’s fine,” Beau bit her lip desperately wishing to turn into seafoam and disappear. The injury was so _dumb_. She was dumb. Now, more than anything, she wished Yasha and Fjord and Caleb would stop staring at her with such concerned faces. It was nothing, the sting of the salt beginning to curl around the obvious cut was nothing, she’d had worse. “It’s _fine.”_

 _“_ Beau,” Fjord’s voice was heavy with concern, “it looks like there is something _in_ the cut.”

Oh hell.

“Really?” Beau knelt down to get a closer look at the cut that was pretty large and now bleeding rather heavily. Beneath layers of skin, wrinkly from the water, she could see something small and dark. Beau frowned and placed her fingers on either side of the cut. Maybe she could push the little shard out?  
“Don’t do that,” Yasha hissed pulling Beau’s hands away, “that will only make it worse.”

“We are in no hurry to explore this cave Beau, maybe go back to the boat and have Cadueces take care of your foot,” Fjord suggested.

“It’s-”

“-it’s possible you could get an infection and have your foot chopped off.” Caleb’s blunt answer was monotonous and definitely an exaggeration. However, Beau knew he wouldn’t say anything like that if he wasn’t a little bit concerned concerned.

Fuck.

“Really-”

“-I’m tired. I’m going to ritual cast all my spells. It will take ten or eleven minutes, plenty of time to decide if Caduceus needs to have Yasha hack off your heel with her sword,” Caleb announced and sat down cross-legged on the platform.

“Wait, I wouldn’t want to use my sword to hack off Beau’s foot,” Yasha said looking over her shoulder at the blade.

“Okay, okay how about Yasha and Beau swim back to the boat while Caleb and myself stay here and wait,” Fjord said.

“Why don’t you swim back?” Yasha asked frowning.

“Just in case a shark smells the blood and comes to eat Beau I won’t be there.”

 _“WHAT?_ ”

“That makes sense. I am stronger than you Fjord. Don’t worry Beau, I won’t let a shark eat you,” Yasha said slipping back into the water.

“ _SHARKS?”_

Fjord helped Beau sit on the side of the platform and then gently nudged her back into the water. “Off you go,”

“If I get eaten-”

“- it won’t happen.”

“It might happen.”

“C’mon Caleb,” Fjord sighed. “See you two soon.”

Spurred by the pain in her foot and the looks on her friends faces, Beau began swimming back towards the boat. Glancing back, she inhaled more water at the sight of a trail of blood in the water leading back to the cut. _Its looks worse because it’s in the water…right?_

Beau closed her eyes as swam next to Yasha; if something was going to come and try and eat her, she didn’t want to know. 

 

“Beau might need her foot chopped off,” Yasha said the minute her head broke the water next to the boat.

“WHAT?” Beau, Jester, and Nott yelled in unison.

“Caleb was joking!"

“Caleb is smart!”

“What did you do?”

Before Beau could explain herself, she found herself being dragged into the boat by Jester.

Caduceus was already unwrapping a small healing kit that had been conveniently packed prior to the trip. “What is the matter with Beau’s foot?”

Hopping across the boat and waving Nott’s prodding hands away, Beau took a seat on the edge of the boat and looked down at her foot. “I cut it on some coral and it was bleeding a lot,” she sighed very embarrassed that everyone was making a big deal.

“Why didn’t you do the healing thingy you can do?” Jester asked Yasha as she helped the Aasimar out of the water.

“Because a piece of coral seems to have broken off and is now inside Beau’s foot,” Yasha said taking a moment to wring water out of her hair. 

Jester and Nott visibly shuddered. 

Caduceus, with gentle hands, turned Beau’s foot to the side to take a closer look. For a moment there was silence on the boat; nothing but the gentle lapping of waves, the occasional bird call, and the gentle breeze.

“Hm. There does seem to be something deep in the cut,” Caduceus said as he opened up the healer’s kit.

“Does she need her foot chopped off?” Nott asked moving to poke Beau’s bleeding foot. For the second time Beau had to swat her green hands away.

The less people touched the wound, the better she felt. It was strange, Beau had seen and had been dealt far worse injuries. Why was she getting punchy now? Perhaps it was the delicateness of the injury and the vulnerability that came with it. If her feet were messed up, she was in big trouble. She’d be unable to run and practically useless in a fight. The less people fussing, the better she felt.

“I think Mr. Caleb was joking when he said that,” Caduceus said, “we just need to do some minor surgery and then a little bandaging.”

Caduceus held up a pair of fine, metal tweezers.

Beau froze as memories of having to remove splinters flashed through her mind. 

“No.” She grabbed Caduceus’ hand as he reached for her foot. “Let me do it.”

“You want to remove it?” Caduceus asked.

“Yes.” Beau took the tweezers out of his hand and turned towards her foot. Droplets of blood were running down her heel and beginning to collect on the smooth surface of the boat.

Jester and Nott gasped and peered closer. Yasha frowned.

“Yes, let me do it.”

Caduceus nodded.

Beau tested the tweezers and then looked towards the cut. From a distance it looked thin and was shaped like a question mark. _This actually might be a pretty cool looking scar…_

“Would you like me to hold the cut open so you can reach it?” Caduceus said.

Beau nodded and tried to tune out the sound of Jester gagging in the background.

Swallowing a case of the heebie-jeebies, she went for it.

The metal tweezers ground against the coral, the sound of metal grinding against stone sent a shiver down her spine.

“You almost had it,” Yasha said suddenly very, very close. She and Nott watched with morbid curiosity.

“Yup.” Was all Beau could say.

 _That piece has to come out, now or never._ Beau forced her hands to stop shaking, forced her mind to stop thinking about anything but grasping the small piece of coral. With another grinding sound, it caught between the points of the tweezers. Beau pulled the tweezers away as Caduceus gave a small cheer.

“You got it,” he smiled letting go of her foot to pick up some bandages.

Nott have a small round of applause and Yasha shrugged.

Beau held up the piece of coral, an almost perfect triangle, and crushed it with the tool. It made a pitiful _crunch_ as it broke into microscopic grains. She looked down at the red ribbon trailing down her foot and then at everyone else around her.

Caduceus smiled. “Look at that, you did great.”

Beau shook her head. “I’m _never_ going to be a surgeon,” she declared before flicking the grains of coral into the water and hopping away to wash her foot.


	2. There are Two Types of People

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> @fatedfeathers, I am sorry. 
> 
> warning. someone throws up in this chapter.

Yasha had poisoned herself. There was no questioning it anymore.

One second she was nodding along as Fjord reported to The Gentleman in his dimly lit tavern and the next: _oooooooh gods._

Fjord and Beau and Nott gestured animatedly as they danced between the details of the last task. Caleb was pretending to pay attention but the thousand-yard-stare hinted that he was snooping around with the help of Frumpkin. Jester was currently inconspicuously doodling while Molly tried not to laugh at whatever creation was developing from the rushed brushstrokes.

Yasha noticed _none_ of it.

Blood was pumping in her ears, her knees were struggling to keep her standing, and her entire body felt like it was slowly burning. She suddenly had the worse stomach ache she’d ever had with nausea rolling through her in waves and her guts twisting into knots. 

She was going to hurl.

Yasha was going to barf up her breakfast all over the polished wooden tables, splatter innocent bystanders, and ruin the group’s relationship with The Gentleman.

In any other instance she would excuse herself and find a restroom or private collection of bushes. But the group was currently in a secret layer (she had no idea where a bathroom was), and underground (so no bushes). Yasha let out a long and low exhale and tried to think about something else, anything else.

The damn yogurt had done her in, there was no other explanation for the feeling of having swallowed a bunch of rocks that were trying to work their way back up her throat. A bowl of blueberry yogurt had arrived with the other intriguing breakfast foods the fancy inn had to offer. It had tasted sour but Yasha had though that the tart aftertaste was from the fruit. She hadn’t considered a bowl of dairy sitting out for an extended period of time could spoil. She had eaten the whole bowl along with a helping of grains and a drizzle of honey on top.

Oh gods thinking of food did not help. Yasha tried to hold still, very, very still so as not to further disturb her angry digestive tract. She breathed shallow, meditative breaths and told herself that she would not be in the hidden layer forever. Fjord would soon end the conversation, Jester would say something silly and Caleb would swoop in to usher everyone back outside where there would be fresh air and water and no judgment if her breakfast reappeared. She was a tough woman; she could handle the nausea for a little longer. Her resolve and the fear of vomiting in front of everyone helped keep the blueberry flavored poison at bay.

_In, out. In, out. Fjord was almost done speaking. Do not barf in front of The Gentleman. Do not barf in front of The Gentleman._

“You okay?” Molly leaned over and whispered to Yasha.

Yasha didn’t trust herself to open her mouth and speak.

“You look white. Like whiter than normal white.”

Yasha grit her teeth and gave a small shrug. She didn’t know how to gesture: “ _I’ve never felt so sick in my life, I might upchuck all over the main crime lord in Zadash, Stormlord end my suffering.”_

Luckily, Molly seemed to understand the need to wrap up the conversation.

“Maybe some fresh air will do you good,” Molly said and gave a tap on Caleb’s shoulder.

Caleb blinked and Molly tilted his head first towards their chattering friends and then towards the exit.

Caleb nodded and glanced briefly at Yasha’s face. There was a brief flicker of concern before Caleb turned and interjected into the conversation.

_Breath, breath, breath, don’t barf, don’t barf, don’t barf._

A light sheen of sweat had accumulated on Yasha’s forehead and shined in the dim light of the flickering torches. She was as clammy as a…clam?

_Don’t think about clams, don’t think about food._

She clenched and unclenched her fists as Caleb stumbled through the conclusion of their report. Molly’s firm but gentle arm linked around hers and she was grateful for the stability.

_Praise the Stormlord for friends like Molly and Caleb,_ Yasha thought.

Just as she’d predicted, Jester finished off with saying something silly to make The Gentleman laugh and Caleb began to usher the group turned towards the exit not a moment too soon.

_OUT OUT OUT OUT_

Yasha quickly lead the way towards the stairs and the light of day.

“What’s wrong?” Molly asked matching her quick pace.

Yasha shook her head and – _OH GODS, OH GODS RUN._

Her stomach lurched harshly. Clapping a hand over her mouth she raced up the stairs to her friends’ alarm. She no longer worried about appearances, she had a poisonous breakfast to dispose of.

She threw open the doors of the Evening Nip and looked for a set of bushes.

No bushes. Lamppost. Good enough. Yasha rushed around the side of the Evening Nip, braced on hand against the lamppost and _heaved._

 “Yasha what’s- _oh._ Oh dear. _”_ For someone who came upon their friend gagging and retching horribly, the others took it pretty well.

Gentle hands pulled her hair out of her face, another hand patted her shoulder. She could hear Fjord and Jester finding some water and Caleb and Nott getting some cloths.

“Get it all out dear,” Molly said rubbing her back and draping one of her arms across their shoulders.

“Just relax and let your body take care of it,” Beau said pulling the strands that were still in Yasha’s face out of the way.

After a few more heaves, the nausea was gone and the feeling of carrying a boulder in her stomach vanished. The sudden relief felt incredible but only lasted for a few seconds before the exhaustion set in and she leaned heavily against Molly.

“What happened? Do you have a plague?” Jester asked handing Yasha some water and torn cloths.

“Thanks,” Yasha croaked accepting the water. She rinsed her mouth out and then wiped her face off with the clothes. “I don’t think I’m ill, I think I ate something bad a breakfast.”

“The blue goop? Blueberry yogurt?” Nott asked and Yasha nodded and shuddered.

“It tasted sour and I thought it was because of the fruit but now I’m not so sure.”

“Maybe eat plain stuff for the rest of the day just to be safe,” Beau said. “No pocket bacon, too greasy.”

Molly gave a small chuckle. “Well, you are a tough one, I’ll give you that. There are two types of people in this world. People like you Yasha, who will hold in their puke in order to preserve business relations…and sissies.”

Everyone within earshot groaned. Yasha couldn't help but give a wan smile.

“I knew something was up when you gritted your teeth and turned pale as a sheet,” Molly said and Caleb nodded enthusiastically.

“Ja, you looked like a ghost. Probably could have scared Fjord if you said ‘boo’ or something.”

“But I felt awful, I didn’t trust myself to speak without, you know, ‘bleh’, ” Yasha said miming throwing up again.

Molly made a sympathetic sound and patted her arm, “do you feel better now?”

Yasha nodded. “Just suddenly very tired.” Her knees weren’t quite done shaking and she felt like she had just run a marathon or had finished a rage-fueled fight. Given that her calorie count had been depleted to zero in a matter of seconds, the exhaustion was to be expected. She was grateful that things had turned out the way they had, that she had good friends by her side.

One thing was certain, Yasha would never look at blueberries or yogurt the same way ever again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as of day chapter was published, 808 days since The Incident. 808 days not trusting yogurt. 
> 
> What should come next?
> 
> -Nott the Best Apple Chopper  
> -Max Caffeine Capacity  
> -Diving Into Dreams


	3. Nott the Best Apple Chopper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one's for you TwinVax, chop, chop

“Finely chop the apples, mix with spices, boil over fire until softened…” Caduceus thumbed his lip as he read the recipe aloud once again. _Camping-cobbler_ was what the recipe was called, a simple, apple-pie like dessert that could easily be made on the road.

“Yummy,” Nott licked her fingers that were still lightly dusted with cinnamon and sugar.

“This should be good,” Caduceus agreed his low voice tumbling across the campsite. The group was in high spirits after deciding to stop early for the evening and take more time with dinner. The meadow they were currently in was a breathtaking collection of bright green grasses and a rainbow of wildflowers. The small bluff the wagon was hidden behind would provide and excellent view of the sunset. And if Caleb’s calculations were correct, (of course they were correct), they would have a beautiful selection of constellations to view once night fell.

“Alright,” Caduceus rose and stretched his back, “I’m going to help Yasha find those herbs I mentioned.”

“Okay,” Nott said laying out the apples along the wooden board that was serving as a makeshift table. 

Everyone was happily working to create dinner. Fjord and Beau were trying to fish, Jester and Caleb were collecting firewood, and Yasha was searching through the flowers for herbs Caduceus had described as well as any particularly eye catching blooms.

“Can you chop up those apples?”

“Yes I can!” Nott said brandishing the shiny new kitchen knife that Caduceus had purchased. It shone with the brightness of a blade freshly sharpened and polished. Nott set the first apple on the board and chopped it in half using the knife point to flick away the dark seeds. Then she cut it into quarters and then eighths. One by one she took the slices and chopped them into cubes starting from one end and working her way to the other. Chop, chop, chop she went. Tilting the board slightly she used the knife to sweep the diced apple into the large pot with flourish.

Then she began working on the second apple.

And then the third.

This was nice, she looked over the grassy field at her friends. Caleb following Jester as she hoped around selecting branches and sticks for the fire. Every time she found one she would wave it in the air shouting something indiscernible and hand it to Caleb to carry. Whatever she said made Caleb smirk. It was good.

Fjord stood at the edge of the stream holding a fishing rod and staring pensively into the water. The swirling blues and greens seeming to lull him into a peaceful meditative state. Propped against a rock was Beau’s fishing line, which she had abandoned in favor of poking around in the cattails. It was peaceful.

Yasha and Caduceus wove through the meadow, occasionally hunching down below the level tall grasses and shrubs and calling the other over to look at what they found. Half the time it was a flower that was added to the bundle Yasha was carrying. The other half Caduceus brought the small plant to his nose to smell and said something, probably the name and its uses, in a low voice. It was nice.

It was a beautiful sight, all of her friends working together and enjoying each other’s presence. Nott was fortunate to –

- _SHUNK_

Distracted by her thoughts, the knife skipped of the front of an apple and down the front of her finger before tumbling from her grasp. Nott hissed and pulled her left hand away sucking on the index finger. There was a faint taste of coppery blood. Oops.

Nott narrowed her eyes and looked closely to assess the seriousness of the cut. Two small faint parallel lines ran from the last joint to the edge of her fingernail; each about a centimeter long. Nott frowned, unsure of where _two_ small cuts came from if the knife slipped and struck only once. She tilted her hand to try and see it in better light.

That’s when part of her finger fell off.

 “GAH!”

NOT GOOD. NOT PEACEFUL. NOT NICE.

It wasn’t two small individual cuts she had seen; it was the border of a much larger swatch of skin she had carved off like the bad part of a vegetable.

Nott poked the gaping cut. Blood welled up and smeared onto her other hand. She grabbed a piece of her shirt and pressed it against the cut squeezing as hard has her small hand could. This was nothing, it wasn’t as bad as it looked. A little pressure and she would be good to go, right?

Nott took the cloth away.

For a second, nothing happened. Looking closely, she was both shocked at the deepness of the cut and couldn’t help but admire how thick skin actually was. Amazing. Caleb had mentioned that skin grew in layers and was rather thick.

“Oooooooo,” Nott fretted as she watched bright goblin blood began to collect and begin running down the rest of her finger and drip onto the grass in front of her. Her eye caught the small clump of pale flesh that had previously been part of her finger.

“Oh no,” Nott immediately felt woozy and laid back in the grass wrapping her right fingers around the small wound. It was odd, she had suffered much worse injuries than this and been mostly able to keep functioning. Why was she suddenly lightheaded and nauseous now?

Perhaps it was the fact that she had just cut away part of her finger. Shaved off a layer of skin with the same movement she used to shave carrots for soup. Or maybe it was the fact that it was still bleeding and warm gobbling blood was beginning to seep between her fingers. Ew, ew, ew, ew.

She needed help.

As embarrassed as she was to require help, it wouldn’t do to have blood smeared everywhere and getting on everyone’s food.

With fingers that trembled uncharacteristically, Nott took out her copper wire. She didn’t need a serious healing spell, just something powerful enough to close up the cut and make it stop bleeding.

“ _Ahem. Yasha, would you mind doing your little healing trick for me? Youcanreplytothismessage._ ”

From across the field, Nott could see the minor confusion that crossed Yasha’s face as she received the message.

“Nott what do you need healing for?” Yasha asked.

Nott didn’t need to rely on message to hear as Yasha’s fluid voice carried across the meadow. Which meant that Caleb and Jester and Caduceus all heard and immediately turned towards her.

Caleb took something from his pocket and brought it up to his mouth.

“ _Nott…_ ”

“ _It’s fine! Doing great!_ ” Nott lied before directing a new message to Yasha, “ _Yasha, it’s just a tiny cut and I don’t want Caduceus to waste a spell on it._ ”

“Nott if you cut your finger and you need a healing spell you might want Caduceus or Jester to look at it,” Yasha responded again, very loudly.

“ _You cut your finger?_ ” Caleb interrupted.

“ _NO. Yes. A little bit. Nothing major!_ ” At this point Nott wasn’t sure who was replying or messaging to.

“Nott you cut your finger?” Beau suddenly yelled from over by the stream.

“WHY DID YOU MESSAGE BEAU?” Nott yelled into the copper wire.

“ _Nott, d_ _o you need help? Yes or no?_ ” Caleb asked again.

“ _Can I join this message party? Nott if need help you should tell us because we are your friends and-_ ” Jester’s message was cut short.

“Yeah Caleb, why did I get messaged?” Beau called over her shoulder.

“ _Beauregard c_ _an you see how badly she cut herself from where you and Fjord are?_ ” Caleb’s voice asked in Nott’s mind.

“Wrong person Caleb!” Nott yelled back no longer bothering with magic.

“Okay, okay, okay,” Caduceus’ placating voice echoed across the campsite without the need for magic. “Everyone calm down, Nott was using the new knife and those take a while to get used to. I myself cut my fingers a lot whenever I would buy a new pair. Anyways let’s just figure this out like civilized people.”

Jester snorted.

Caduceus’ long stride brought him to Nott within seconds. “Can I see?” He asked pointing to her finger. Nott frowned and held out her carved digit. By then everyone else has collected in a small circle.

“Wow, that is like huge for someone like you Nott,” Jester commented.

“It’s not the end of the world,” Caduceus said hushing her. “I think a healing spell would be better than stitching it back together. If I’m not mistaken there is a piece missing and so we couldn’t use stitches even if we wanted.”

Nott could practically feel Caleb’s cringe.

“I guess so. I just didn’t want to waste anyone’s healing spell on something so silly,” Nott murmured.

“We could chop the rest of your finger off and watch ‘Duceus heal it back on,” Beau suggested and Fjord elbowed her in the side.

“No, no it is a simple fix,” Caduceus smiled, “Yasha, your ability should be enough to do the trick.”

With a small smile Yasha gently touched Nott’s hand. A warm glow emitted from the aasimar’s hand and was absorbed by the goblin’s. There was a slight prickling sensation and, when Nott looked, her finger was back to normal. A small scar was all that remained of the cut. 

“Thank you Yasha,” Nott said quietly and Caduceus patted her head.

“You might want to wash your hands before you eat,” Jester said handing over a bar of soap and pointing at the stream.  
“Yeah, alright,” Nott said walking to go clean off her blood that had smeared on her hands and then dried.

When she returned, Beau was sitting in her stop finishing up chopping the apples. Additionally, Fjord and Yasha were cleaning fish while Caduceus ground herbs.

“Nott!” Jester called from by the small area that had been cleared for their fire, “come help me make a pyramid with all these sticks I found!”

Nott smiled. All the jobs that required knives were currently being done by someone else. It was probably for the best.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Careful with knives kids, otherwise you'll end up earning the finger-carving merit badge. 
> 
> What should come next?
> 
> -Max Caffeine Capacity  
> -Diving Into Dreams  
> -Rolling Pins Rolling Pains
> 
> Got an odd story to add to the collection? Want to talk Critical Role?  
> Swim on by at aetobatus-narinari.tumblr.com


	4. Max Caffeine Capacity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Caduceus enjoys a cup of tea. And then another. and then another. And then he Regrets.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Midterms have passed, lets drink tea!
> 
> Blooming_Dark_Flower, cheers.

“If you’d like to join, we would love to have someone who grows their own unique brand of tea,” the clerk smiled standing on their tip-toes in an attempt to bring their gnome body to be eyelevel with the firbolg’s.

Afternoon sunlight shone through the dusted windows that lined the back wall of the apothecary. The golden light made the bundles of herbs cast twisting shadows against the worn wooden floors. The air was warm and filled with the sleepy scent of spices.

Caduceus smiled and looked at the small jar of leaves he had recently purchased. Caleb was at the library and Beau was getting a lesson from another monk, so Caduceus knew he had time to spare before the group departed town that evening.

“I would love to join for afternoon tea,” Caduceus said.  

 

That was how Caduceus ended up at a table far too small under a roof far too short unable to move his elbows without knocking over delicately painted glassware. The clerk and their friends had possibly one of the best collections of tea for non-travelling folks.

There was a tea that shimmered like honey in the sunlight and tasted of delicate flowers. He started off with a cup of that.

 Another was so dark and rich Caduceus wondered if it was brewed from the night sky itself. He went back for seconds on that pot.

And wow, the purely peaches tea was absolutely amazing and, yes some milk with it would be lovely thank-you, he would have to make sure the Mighty Nein stopped by the orchard some time. 

The ‘Graveyard Tea’ was naturally a hit, perhaps not everyone enjoyed the taste however the novelty of it fueled the conversation for an hour at least.

How much time had passed anyways? How long was six-cups of tea? Perhaps it was time he excused himself and rejoined his friends. If somebody used a message spell on him and he jumped in surprise, he would probably knock over the table. One more cup and he would make his exit. He had stayed for a decent amount of time, not too long, not too short and didn’t want to delay his friends on accident. Just one more cup and he would make a gracious exit.

“Excuse me,” Caduceus said to the gnome, Barry, who had invited him, “Could I try some of the tea in the yellow pot?”

Barry looked at the pot and then back at Caduceus, “I have to warn you, I think it was made a little on the strong side and it has been seeping for a long time now.”

“Hopefully it isn’t over seeped,” Caduceus said accepting the pot and pouring himself a cup.

It was odd, he was sure the tea was a much lighter color before.

Caduceus took a sip and _holy wildmother what an insult to tea!_

There was no flavor, just a burning bitter taste that made his tongue curl and his eyes water. It took every ounce of his resolve not to let his expression betray how ungodly awful the over seeped tea tasted.

What was he to do? Spit it back into the cup? No, the elf at the head of the table had said it was her favorite and she would feel bad if he spat it back out. He had to think of something, everyone would be repulsed if he choked and the tea came out his nose! Hoping he wasn’t about to burn a hole in his stomach, Caduceus forcefully swallowed the tea down.

“Very strong does not even begin to describe it,” Caduceus whispered to Barry the gnome.

_Wildmother save me I have a whole cup full of it._

He couldn’t drink this, shouldn’t drink it.  Just one sip and he was hardly able talk from the sharp bitterness making his tongue go numb. What if he took another sip and couldn’t keep a straight face to hide how awful it tasted? The elf might become horribly embarrassed and her friends might talk behind her back about the time she almost poisoned a firblog!

But on the other hand, if he didn’t drink it people would ask why and then he would have to say it was over steeped and what if they didn’t know what that was and he would seem like some pretentious know-it-all.

And he didn’t want to seem ungrateful, he couldn’t force himself to rise from the table to dump it out and yet he couldn’t just leave a cup of tea unfinished…

So he drank it.

Caduceus could practically feel the taste buds on his tongue crying out for mercy and his stomach plotting to avenge them. He had consumed odd blends and bitter medicinal tea many times before but non held a candle to the sheer abomination the over seeped tea had become.

“Well,” Caduceus said setting the cup back down on the table turning to collect his bag on the floor (and hiding his watering eyes), “this has been wonderful. Thank you so much for inviting me but I must be returning to my friends now.”

The others wished him well, unaware of the deadly brew they still had on the table and waved as he contorted in order to not hit the ceiling and bowed out of tea party.

He needed water.

 

“Ready to go?”

“Water.” Caduceus croaked pushing past Fjord. Fjord looked at him like he had two heads before holding out a water skin.

“You okay Caduceus?” Jester asked hopping into the cart.

Caduceus rinsed and spat multiple times trying to wash away the acidic taste. “I just had the most bitter cup of tea _ever_.”

Caleb looked up from his book, “you have made some really weird tea before, what was different about this one?”  
  
“It was steeped for over an hour," Caduceus said, "Is my tongue black?”

Caleb took a look and shook his head before going back to reading his book.

Caduceus rinsed out his mouth one more time and tried to recall better tasting teas, like the peach flavored one. After telling the horses that they were going to be heading out, he took his usual place at the head of the cart and flicked the reins setting a brisk pace.

 

The group road over hills swathed in golden grasses as the sky faded from pale blue into a painting of reds and oranges. They made good time getting to a grove of trees that offered shelter from the eyes of bandits and other ne’er-do-wells. All the while Caduceus kept his eyes to the road admiring the slow shifting of the light and swaying of the grasses. He and Nott and Caleb pointed out various nocturnal creatures that awoke with the rising of the moon (two small birds, one owl, and three bats). Working quickly, Caduceus helped with just about every job of getting the campsite together. He helped gather wood, cared for the horses, and always kept a watchful eye on the horizon.

Had Caleb cast Haste on him? He worked as the pinnacle of efficiency, as soon as one job was finished he was jumping into another. It was amazing, he felt like a piece in a well-oiled machine always moving and making progress.

That night, around the campfire he told stories. It wasn’t a usual pastime for the group, but he found himself talking about folktales he had been told by his parents. And then talking about his sisters. And then about firbolg culture in general. And then about –

“Okay I’m going to bed,” Beau said interrupting him just as he was about to being speaking about firbolg cooking.

“Me too, thanks for the stories Caduceus,” Jester yawned.

Caduceus looked to Caleb who shrugged and said, “it is later than we normally stay up.”

Caleb and Fjord offered to take the first watch so Caduceus laid down in his bedroll and looked at the few stars that managed to shine through the leaves above him.

He missed home, his old room with his bed pushed against the window so he could see outside. As a boy he had given the stars he could see through his window their own names. He wondered if he was staring at the same stars now.

“Caleb,” Caduceus said sitting upright, “do you have a book on stars?”

Caleb looked up from his book he was reading by firelight. “No, I do not.”

“Oh.” Caduceus laid back down trying to get comfortable.

A few seconds later he sat back upright, “do you think in the next town there would be a book shop that sells books about stars?”

Caleb looked up again through sleepy eyes. “Possibly.”

Caduceus nodded, happy with the answer and laid back down. He would learn the true names of the stars from his childhood home. Except he wasn’t sure which stars he was looking at to begin with.

“Caleb,” Caduceus said sitting back upright, “do you think you could calculate-”

“- _Duceus for the love of gods shut up,_ ” Beau groaned sitting upright.

“Oh, sorry,” Caduceus said lying back down. Now was the time to sleep, they all need their rest and Caduceus shouldn’t be a disturbance. He would ask all his questions in the morning. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

Except something was wrong. His heart felt like it was racing, his mind felt wide awake and exhausted at the same time. All his thoughts ran about like excited rabbits; he couldn’t pick one thing to think about or meditate on in order to fall asleep. Gods he was tired but why couldn’t he just drift off?

Caduceus rolled one way. Then the next. Then lied back on his back. Nothing worked, his mind buzzed and his heart felt like it was going to beat right out of his chest. He sat back upright again and stared into the fire.

“Do you need something?” Caleb asked eyeing him warily.

“I think I’ll stay up for a little while, I don’t feel sleepy. Fjord do you want to rest? I can finish this watch for you,” Caduceus suggested rising and taking a seat next to the fire.

Fjord shrugged and gave a nod before climbing into his bedroll.

“Why can’t you sleep?” Caleb whispered.

“I have no idea, I just feel like my heart is going a million miles an hour and my mind is constantly humming and full of thoughts,” Caduceus stirred the fire and looked off into the dark.

Even with a job to do, Caduceus couldn’t sit still. He felt the urge to move, to talk, to _do something_ and yet in the back of his mind a small voice pleaded for sleep.

First he sat facing the fire. Then he turned and faced away. Then he tried to read over Caleb’s shoulder. Then he accidentally kicked Jester’s horns.

“Ca-du-ceus,” Jester whined rolling over and burrowing down further into her bedroll.

“I’m really sorry, I just am not tired and I can’t sit still and I don’t know why and I’m starting to get worried that maybe something is wrong because my heart keeps beating like I just ran a marathon,” Caduceus apologized.

He felt awful for disturbing everyone else around the campfire with his fidgeting. It wasn’t fair that he robbed them of sleep just because he couldn’t sit still.

“Maybe go for a walk,” Yasha said quietly.

“Far away,” Beau grumbled and then yelped as somebody elbowed her (probably Fjord).

“Yeah, okay, maybe a walk. Just around the edge of the camp. Say hello to the horses.” Caduceus rose and carefully stepped around his disgruntled friends.

He walked the perimeter six times. Round and round he went his hands brushing the rough bark of the trees and the soft grasses. Around him the night hummed with the sound of the wind through the trees and the gentle chirps of the nightlife as if the Wildmother herself was whispering a lullaby. But in spite of the susurrus symphony around him, Caduceus felt wide awake.

“Okay maybe something is wrong; do I look pale? Am I poisoned? Cursed?” Caduceus asked fervently, taking a seat next to Caleb.

Caleb frowned, made note of the page number, and set his book down before turning to take a closer look at Caduceus. Suddenly, the mild confusion on the wizard’s face lifted and his eyes changed as an idea popped into his head.

“How many cups of tea did you have this afternoon?”

“Seven.”

“Good _god_ Caduceus you and your fucking tea!” Beau was awake again and spat a few sleep-deprivation induced insults before Jester rose up and muffled her with a spare blanket.

“Yes that was not a good idea,” Caleb said, “you are coming down from a caffeine high you might be up for a few more hours.”

“Oh _gods,_ ” Caduceus put his head in his hands. He was so, _so_ tired and just wanted to sleep but now he knew he couldn’t.

“Ja, you’re going to be up a while so just maybe sit and enjoy the fire and think about anything other than how you are not going to sleep,” Caleb said opening his book back up. The wizard snapped his fingers and Frumpkin appeared in Caduceus’ lap. “Take care of Frumpkin please,” he mumbled.

Caduceus sighed and let Frumpkin turn a few circles before getting comfortable. He began petting the fluffy cat who purred in response.

 “When I was at the academy,” Caleb said, “I sometimes would stay awake all night studying. I would brew strong tea to keep myself awake. The only difference is I did that on purpose and out of necessity.”

“Whereas I did it on accident,” Caduceus bemoaned quietly. He could have sworn Caleb gave a small huff of laughter.

And so the first watched passed with Caduceus petting a cat and staring into the fire. He stayed wide awake the whole time.

He stayed awake for the second watch too, contributing to Yasha and Nott’s discussion about whether collecting samples of food was a good idea.

And he stayed awake for almost the third watch as well, with Beau not speaking to him and Jester doodling silly faces in her notebook.

It wasn’t until the sky began pale that he felt his eyes drooping, the effects of the tea wearing off far too late.

 

“How did you deal with the after affects Caleb?” Caduceus asked as the group slowly packed up.

Caleb paused for a moment. “I didn’t, I always regretted staying awake. But back then I did not have a nice cart to sleep in while my friends took turns driving.”

“Hop in Duceus,” Fjord said patting a pile of blankets in the corner.

Caduceus had never felt more grateful for his friends. He was so sorry to have caused so much trouble but was so thankful that they were all understanding and compassionate people and would let him try and regain what sleep he could.

To the sound of the rolling wheels and warm breeze over the plains and the birdcalls above, Caduceus was finally able to drift off to the Wildmother’s lullaby.

 

===

“I didn’t get no sleep cause of you, you’re not gonna get no sleep cause of me!” Beau hissed preparing to smash the metal cooking spoon against cooking pot above Caduceus’ head while he sleep.

Fjord and Yasha tackled her while Caleb took the utensils away.

Caduceus slept on. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From this point on, only camomile after dinner time. 
> 
> What should come next?
> 
> -Rolling Pins Rolling Pains  
> -Diving Into Dreams  
> -Starfish on Ice


	5. Starfish on Ice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "It was a dream. One that was incredibly realistic, pulling on tendrils of memories that were once so vivid and painting a picture Caleb would only realize was false once he awoke."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> STILL ALIVE AND WRITING!  
> Sorry for the delay, deej_nicolson, this one is for you!

It was a dream. One that was incredibly realistic, pulling on tendrils of memories that were once so vivid and painting a picture Caleb would only realize was false once he awoke.

It was a memory of mischief, of whiskey on lips and hushed whispers. Of ducking down hallways and snuffing out candles with stifled laughter. It was hands on shoulders and intertwined fingers and the quick pattering of feet down abandoned hallways. It was the daring risk of breaking the rules and the sharp heartbeat of being awake past midnight. The innocent eyes keeping watch, the careful hands easing open a window to the falling snow outside.

“C’mon,” Eodwulf laughed raising a hand, beckoning.

“Hurry,  _hurry_ ,” Astrid’s voice echoed as she stood holding back the branches of the fir pine.

In his dream snowflakes caught on Caleb’s eyelashes, collected on Edowulf’s broad shoulders, adorned Astrid’s head as a crown. There was music coming from somewhere, praising the bright youthful mischief in the air. Caleb’s heart was a butterfly’s wings, the moonlight urging him to jump down from the window and to the glistening white snow below.

“Close it behind you,” Eodwulf chucked steadying Caleb with firm hands after he’d jumped down.

“Come, come,” Astrid’s laughter was delicate. The dancing lights led them between the trees down the hill over the expectations of yesterday and tomorrow.

In the dream the lake was a mirror, reflecting only the image of three souls remembering childhood dancing across the ice. Astrid pushing Eodwulf, Eodwulf leading Caleb as they slid across and danced on the mirror. There were no cares, they were as harmless as the snowflakes led them onward and their humming breaths creating own clouds.

“Wait up,” Caleb said.

Astrid and Eodwulf slid farther away across the ice laughing, their voices sweet and syrupy. 

“ _I cannot keep up with you, wait_!” Astrid and Eodwulf did not listen. They were not listening; they were not of the same mind. They were going to go on to do great and terrible things and leave Caleb behind.

The reality of the dream was blurring, the ache of the past mingling with the cold. The memory resurfacing as a pair of fangs digging into the heart, filling it with a melancholy poison. 

“ _Wait!_ ”

And suddenly Caleb was falling, his feet out from under him he careened towards the ice, his reflection coming to meet him—

– Caleb woke with a start on the packed dirt of the cave the Mighty Nein was camping inside.

He was wrapped in blankets yet still shivering. The cold biting into his hands and the exposed skin on his face. The reminder of the past was no longer precious and cherished, but melancholy. It had been a long time since that night he and his former classmates had snuck out. It might have been the last happy memory he had of the three of them working together.

He sat up feeling aged and looked out over the rest of the group. The difference could not be ignored, the disparity between the future he had imagined as a boy and the future he was forging now was enormous. But then Caleb smiled.

It was lightly snowing, flurries twirling past the mouth of the cave and mixing with the starlight. His breath caught in his throat, something was reflecting the moonlight just beyond hill opposite the cave. Glowing a serene silver color that he hadn’t noticed in the muted daylight. Caleb carefully rose and walked past the rest of the group to where Beau and Molly were keeping watch.

“Need something?” Molly asked pulling a card from his deck and looking at it quizzically.

Caleb didn’t respond and squinted.

“See something?” Beau asked. “Is there a creature by the lake?”

Aha. It was a lake, a frozen one too. Caleb shook his head and stepped out of the cave.

“Where are you going?” Molly asked grabbing the edge of Caleb’s coat.

“Over to the lake, I won’t be long,” Caleb said.

He normally didn’t believe in the collecting of subconscious information influencing dreams or the presence of landmarks churning up old memories. But he might change his mind as he looked at the silvery frozen lake, glistening like a mirror.

“Come with me,” Caleb said to Molly and then to Beau, suddenly decided he didn’t want to go alone.

“What are you going to do?” Molly asked rising to his feet, his eyes flickering curiously.

Caleb smiled and drew his cloak tighter around himself, “you are only two years old yes? I doubt you have ever slid across a frozen lake.”

Beau also rose to her feet cocking her head. “Why would you want to do that?”

Caleb began carefully stepping through the snow, the fresh flakes crunching beneath his feet. “Because it is fun, and time to re-write an old memory,” Caleb called over his shoulder.

“Re-write an old memory? You just said I’ve never done this before,” Molly said wrapping his own cloak tighter as well.

“For you it is creating a new memory,” Caleb carefully picked his way down the hillside, his steps as careful and light as they had been so many years ago, “but for me, it is re-writing.”

 

Molly and Beau followed him to the edge of the lake where a layer of fog hovered just above the surface. More snow danced through the air and filtered through the fir pines.

“Caleb if you fall through Nott will murder us,” Beau said gently tossing a stone onto the ice. It bounced and skipped but did not fall through the ice.

“That is why I wanted you to come along,” Caleb turned to the monk, “you can do that think where you punch something and learn about it, yes?”

“That doesn’t work on ice!” Beau hissed gesturing to the flat surface.

Caleb frowned, he and his former classmates had been foolish to trust a frozen lake to hold their weight. The new friends needed to know if it was strong enough to bear their weight.

“Only one way to find out if its strong enough,” Molly said and sprinted out across the frigid surface.

“Molly!” Beau and Caleb yelled simultaneously.

Molly gave a smile before almost losing his balance. His feet slipped and his arms waved but he caught himself at the last second. He drew the Summer’s Dance sword and held it aloft. “I will walk across most of the ice, if I fall through I’ll just use this to bounce me back over to you two!”

“Fuck. Molly, Yasha will rip my head off if you end up a tiefling popsicle,” Beau stretched out a hand as if she possessed some power to stop him.

Molly laughed, loud and carefree, as he shuffled across the surface. He wandered in circles, at times taking a few quick steps before sliding, waving his arms to maintain balance. Caleb flinched as the tiefling slipped but Molly was able to catch himself every time.

“This is fun!”

Caleb smiled and took a step out onto the ice himself; the cold could be felt through the bottom of his thin boots. His breath was visible, the snowflakes shone like individual stars drifting down to earth, and the night air stung his cheeks as he quickened his pace towards the tiefling. It was nothing like the dream and the memories he clung to, it was better.

“Sweet fuck, Nott and Yasha are both going to kill me,” Beau muttered.

“Not if you’re dead with us!” Molly laughed and beckoned with the sword. Beau rolled her eyes and paced a few times along the edge and looked back up the hill towards the cave where the rest of their friends slept.

“I guess you’re right for once,” Beau called as she stepped back a few feet before taking a running start to go careening across the ice. The monk gave a triumphant whoop as she slid past in a blue blur. Caleb couldn’t help but laugh as Beau’s arms swung wildly to keep her balance while slowing to a stop.

“You look like an idiot,” Molly said gingerly moving closer.

“Says the guy using his tail to maintain balance,” Beau retorted.

“Not as ridiculous,” Caleb puffed slowly, clumsily, making his way over, “as the one who’s supposedly done this before.” His movements were definitely less coordinated than from his memories.

Beau and Molly snickered. And then the three of them were twirling, running a few steps and gliding across the ice with shouts of surprise and laughter. Molly gave Beau a push, Beau linked arms with Caleb.

The ice was slippery and unforgiving as well, more than once someone ended up toppling over.

“Gods be damned that’s another bruise,” Beau griped brushing off her elbow.

“Soon you’ll be as purple as- _SHIT_ ,” Molly’s feet flew out from under him and he ended up on the ice next to Beau.

“Perhaps it is time to call it a night,” Caleb said attempting to offer his hands to help his friends to their feet.

Beau yawned and Molly shivered.

“Race you back to the edge?” Beau suggested and was off like an arrow before she had an answer.

“Cheater!” Molly immediately took off after her.

“Wait!” Caleb called. The human and the tiefling haphazardly sprinted and slipped their way across the ice. Snowflakes disturbed in their delicate descent to the ground swirled behind them. Caleb called shuffling after them but any attempt in picking up speed threatened to unbalance him.

Caleb put his head down and resumed a walking pace, he would get to the edge, reach his goals in his own time. Beau and Molly were different from him; they could do things he couldn’t like sprint across the ice. The cold settled in his chest; Caleb was used to this, the difference between himself and those he held dear.

“Hurry up!”

Caleb’s head shot upright; Molly and Beau stood waiting for him several meters from the shoreline. Beau appeared to tap her foot and Molly waved.

“Come on now, one foot in front of the other!” Molly called.

“Gotta be fast Widowgast!” Beau hollered.

Caleb smiled and shook the delusions of the past from his head. Of course his friends would wait for him.

He concentrated on moving towards them, keeping his balance. Eventually he was moving across the ice faster than he had dared to earlier. He was not as swift as Beau or Molly but he was not going to be left behind.

He was running! His heart light and his breath creating small clouds, he was so close he could see the smiles on their –

_WOOSH_

He was flying. Not good.

Caleb’s right knee hit the ice first. Then his left knee followed by his elbows cracking the harsh surface. Both his hands slapped the ice and his momentum made him twist and his right hip also impacted. He felt a twinge in his neck as he tensed and prevented his head from hitting the ice as well.

“Shit, fuck, _FUCK!_ ” He heard his friends yell as he slowly slid to a stop all spread out like a sea-star.

“Are you alright?”

“Nott is going to murder us,” Beau said as she crouched down next to Caleb as he attempted to fill his lungs with air again. Pain was everywhere, his knees, his elbows, his side, his neck, but mostly his hands. The stung like they were full of pins and needles as the individual nerves reeled in shock.

“I’ did not mean to do that,” Caleb wheezed.

“Clearly,” Molly said as he and Beau helped Caleb slowly sit up and then gingerly rise to his feet.

Molly and Beau stood on either side of Caleb and matched his pace, moving with extreme caution as if they feared he would fall again. They were only a few meters from the shore but took their time carefully selecting each step.

“Do you need us to carry you?” Beau asked looking up the hill towards the cave.

“No, no,” Caleb said brushing off their arms, “I’m just bruised. I think I win for the bruise count, now I will be the one to look like Molly.”

“That isn’t a good thing,” Molly said.

“Are you going to tell Nott that we left you behind and when you tried to catch up, you ate shit?” Beau asked.

Caleb laughed and hid a wince, “of course not. This will be our little secret.”

Beau and Molly shrugged and the three began walking towards the cave.

Their feet shuffled through the snow and brush and their movements were marked with weariness. Snow slowly drifted down to the ground, occasionally catching in their eyes and chilling their faces. There was no music, no magic in the air, no feeling of mischief, just the dull pain as bruises began to form.

But to Caleb the pain was a gift; it meant that the new, happier memory hadn’t been a dream, it was real.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, always be safe around slippery surfaces!
> 
> DOUBLE UPDATE!!  
> Friday: Diving into Dreams


	6. Diving into Dreams

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *almost forgets to post chapter as promised*

Jester had gotten a new mask from her mother. It was supposed to help her sleep when there was too much light. Having eyes sensitive enough to see in the dark meant that when she was having trouble falling asleep, a little extra light was a real nuisance. And lately, Jester had been having trouble falling asleep in general but that was a different matter entirely. It was probably form all the stress with fighting evil monsters and stuff.

The mask was made of deep purple silk with pink embroidery on it that read: _Beauty Sleep_. It was funny to grumble and say “read the mask” when she was woken up. And to slap it over her eyes as a way to cut off conversations when she wanted to go to sleep. And to get good sleep in general.

Before she fell asleep, she could hear people whisper and walk as quietly as they could when she was wearing the mask. It commanded an aura of silence in order to provide the ‘beauty sleep’ as promised.

One evening, the group stopped to stay at an inn for the first time in a while. It wasn’t the pillow trove however there were many plush cushions and frills on the bed covers. It was clean and quiet and Jester would have felt right at home if it wasn’t for the fact that the hallways were lined with bright lanterns. The first night they stayed at the inn, Jester had tossed and turned trying to ignore the golden light coming from beneath the door. She should have made sure her sleeping mask was within reach but she’d packed it somewhere in the haversack and didn’t want to wake anyone up by looking for it.

“You okay?” Beau whispered trying not to wake Yasha who they were sharing the room with.

“I’m just not that tired,” Jester lied.

“Do you want another pillow?” Yasha said aloud, her low voice filling the room.

“Fuck did we wake you?”

“No,”

“Just go back to sleep, it’s fine,” Jester hissed.

A pillow flew through the dark and landed with a soft ‘ _whump’_ at her feet. “Sleep well,” Yasha whispered.

“Thank you,” Jester said. She placed the pillow over her face, inhaling the smell of cotton and making a note to have her mask on hand the next night.

The next evening, Beau went to bed early while Jester stayed down in the main area of the tavern. After a long and rough fight, the monk looked dead on her feet and with a mumbled “’night,” shuffled up the stairs to the room. The group played cards between the rounds of drinks and talked about light and airy things, avoiding heavier topics of impending conflicts. One by one, they all retired to their rooms to get the peaceful rest while they still could.   
“You’re cheating!” Nott hissed pointing at Jester’s cards.

“So are you!” Jester countered attempting to hide a yawn.

“Time to retire for the evening I think,” Caleb said closing his book and leaving no room for argument.

The last three members of the Mighty Nein slowly climbed the stairs and to their rooms. Jester carefully tucked her haversack next to her bed and slipped to the privy at the end of hall to wash up before going to bed. She had her sleeping mask with her this time, it proved very handy in keeping her hair back while she washed her face.

Clad in socks and sleeping clothes, she tiptoed back to her room.

“Goodnight!”

Jester turned around to see Nott waving from the room across the hall.   
“Goodnight,” Jester whispered back.

Jester the flicked her sleeping mask over her eyes, shut the door, and, like the night before, turned and dove onto her bed. 

Except she missed the bed.

 

CRASH!

Jester smacked down onto the hardwood floor making the entire room shake.

“JESTER!” Yasha cried.

“Fuck! What? What’s going on?” Beau shouted bolting awake and looking around wildly.

Jester groaned and rolled to the side trying to catch her breath, “I just tripped,” she wheezed.

Yasha came over and crouched next to her with a concerned look on her face.

“You what?” Beau asked again gingerly sitting up.

“I just-”

“She just dove through the air and landed on the floor,” Yasha said cutting her off.

If teiflings could turn red, Jester would be the color of roses; Yasha had been awake and saw the whole thing.

“Why the hell did you do that?” Beau asked.

Jester slowly rose and sat on her own bed and stared at her hands. “I wanted to dive onto my bed but I missed.”

Jester could feel Yasha and Beau staring at her. And then Beau snickered. “Oh I wish I was awake and saw that.”

“Beau,” Yasha hissed but Beau kept chuckling quietly.

“You can’t see in the dark,” Jester said.

“But you can. And you were the one who ended up on the floor!”

That made Jester laugh which then made Yasha laugh and soon they were all laughing quietly.

“Do you think anyone heard that?” Yasha asked after they had calmed and laid down again.

“No, Nott and Caleb are across the hall and Caduceus sleeps like the dead and his snores are so loud that Fjord probably can’t hear anything,” Jester said making Beau and Yasha chuckle.

At last Jester went to sleep with her beauty-rest mask on and her friends assured that she hadn’t hurt herself in her accidental dive into the ground. A quick healing spell the next morning prevented any bruises from hindering her movement.

The next night and almost every night after she could feel the gaze of either Beau, Yasha, or both keeping to eye on her.

“You’re clear,” they would say, even though she could clearly see for herself. Jester would laugh and dive onto the bed without any mishaps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter is coming and will conclude this series for now!

**Author's Note:**

> Ta-da, the story of how I what career I didn't want to pursue as told by our beloved monk. 
> 
> What should come next?
> 
> \- Nott the Best Apple Chopper  
> \- Max Caffeine Capacity  
> \- There are Two Types of People


End file.
